Choice is Better than No Choice
Sunday, April 18th, 2010
Choice is Better than No Choice
How often do you say to yourself “I have no choice, I have to do this or that?” Is this really true? Do you really have no choice or are you just resolved to performing that activity?
Some people actually choose ‘not to choose’. Maybe they think they might be excluding themselves from any negative consequences, but actually they are making a choice. What they are really saying is “The choice I am making to do this or that has more benefits (or fewer negative consequences) than doing something else.
“We all make choices everyday… what clothes do I wear? what do I want to eat for breakfast? where am I going on vacation this year?
Let’s dig a little deeper…How often do you consciously make the choice to stay within your comfort zone - by not “choosing” to challenge yourself or take a risk that may make you uneasy or afraid but may help you to grow? You are “choosing” to stay content and comfortable. Great… as long as you realize that you ARE making a choice.
What about the choice to react negatively to your “hot buttons?” - Right now, you may be saying, “Katie, this one isn’t really a choice, that’s the way I am!” It may be difficult to choose to react differently to a trigger that usually makes your temper flare, but there are ways you could learn to change this fight/flight reaction to a more useful response; therefore you are making a choice to continue to react in the way you frequently do to that hot button. Does that make sense?
Try this exercise:
1. As you go about your day, think about all of the activities that you do that you think you have “no choice or not much choice” about doing.
2. Jot down the ones that come up for you where you catch yourself saying “Well, this one I really have no choice about… I have to.” (these are the really juicy ones!)
3. Take each of those activities that you feel you have “no choice” and come up with at least 5 other choices that you could make…even if they are silly or seem really negative.
Here’s an example:“I have no choice… I have to go to work today.”
5 other possible choices:
“I could choose to play hooky today and stay home to do some spring cleaning.”
“I could choose to quit today and not go back to that job again.”
“I could choose to go to work today, and schedule some time for a “me” day.“
“I could choose to go to work today, and look for ways to make time at work more enjoyable.”
“I could choose to go to work today, and think about what kind of work I would feel excited about doing.”
4. Finally, make the choice to do this exercise today (maybe while you are driving to work 
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When I first learned about this presupposition I understood it on an intellectual level but never could really wrap my hands around it enough to effectively explain it for my clients or model it in my own life.
What I have found is that when you seep this pre-sup into your blood alot more changes for you then you may think.Believing that I was always making choices and actually seeing all the possibilities of choice all around me I started to feel more resourceful, abundant and …responsible.
By pre-supposing I always had a choice I could not let myself or others off the hook as easily as I did before. There is a sense of responsibility that grows with this concept.Try it on for size and pay attention to what opens up for you.
If you wish it, wish it LOUD!
Katie
www.coachkatie.com
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