You knew it was coming….
Tiz the season for resolutions.
Many people are preparing to willingly gain two to three sizes over the holidays and justify this by telling themselves that everything is going to change in 2010 and this year the new years resolutions are going to stand tough. The problem is that this never works. Its called self sabotage.
There’s a reason most gyms and fitness centers make 60-80% of their money in January and February. The problem is that 80% of those new members never make it back in by March or April.
I recently joined a tele-conference call setting up ‘New Years’ goals. Among the most common were Get Organized, Be More Spiritual, Lose Weight, Quit Smoking, and Spend More time with the Family.
I don’t know about you, but this kind of To-Do List approach to life transformation does little to inspire me. And it doesn’t surprise me at all that the success rates were pretty depressing.
Why Resolutions Don’t Work
The reason most resolutions don’t work is that they address only one level of your life. The DO level. It’s the DO-HAVE-BE model. “I will DO this thing.” (i.e., Lose weight) “So I can HAVE this other thing” (Self-Esteem) and I can BE this thing. (Confident.)
The average New Year’s Resolution doesn’t address the core of the issue – the “BE” level.
The best order for creating positive changes in your life is the BE-DO-HAVE model. This means you start from the BE level. When you begin changing on the BE level of your life, then the DO level and the HAVE level follow more easily.
When you start only on the DO level, then all the blocks on the BE level will often become the obstacles you can’t overcome.
Nine times out of ten I end up introducing my clients to the BE-DO-HAVE model. We don’t go there easily but with a coach it flows easier and gets your quicker results. Contact me if you have questions about this-It can get confusing.
A Better New Year’s Ritual
I believe in this ritual so much that if I recall I blogged about it last year. The ritual is simple…pick a word that will guide you throughout the year. It would be your touchstone. It would remind you of living your life at the BE level. It’s a good practice. This one word will guide your choices and support you in making decisions easier. When you get grounded in your word-life will see a bit more clear.
Just one word. That’s all.
Then, hold that word in your mind throughout the year, and let your word guide you to take action.
Example: Let’s say you are one of the many people who would normally choose “Get Organized.” You look around to see clutter and crap all over your life. You’re tired of the chaos. So, you think, “I need to get organized. That should be my Resolution this year.”
UNTIL YOU SEE THIS BLOG…You sit with your clutter. You spend a few days pondering words that will inspire you. You realize in an “Ah-Ha!” moment that you tend to cling to lots of things. You’re scared to let go. So you choose the word “Release” because it inspires you in a bigger way than “Get organized.”
So, every time you approach your clutter you remind yourself of that word. “Release,” you say softly. You start to let the clutter go. Eventually, you realize that you’re still holding on to lots more than just physical clutter. You realize that you hold onto resentment at old relationships. “Release,” you remind yourself. You realize that holding on is affecting your diet and health. “Release” applies to some of the extra weight you’ve gained as well.
Throughout the year, you can see clearly how much you hold on. “Release” is your touchstone. It grows you throughout the year. It becomes your guiding force, not your harsh standard.
This wouldn’t have happened if you’d opted only to “Get Organized.”
What word to choose?
Many people know immediately which word resonates with them. For others, a little contemplation is required.
It’s tempting to choose four or five, believing that you can do it all! (Or that you’re too messed up to narrow your flaws down to one helpful word!) I recommend that if you can’t choose just one, narrow it down to no more than three.
One is ideal. It gives you focus. If you master that one word, you can choose another one in June.
I typically would give you a list of words to choose from. In doing that, I find that it makes it easy to go down the list and just “pick” a word that you like. This word has to really resonate with you, it won’t work if you just like the word.
I would love to hear what you come up with.
Last year my word was LOVING. I set out to be more loving and I accomplished it!
This year…I had a list of 3 or 4 for 2009 and I have decided that my 2009 resolution is CALM. I am committed to BEING more calmer in the new year. (BEING the key word here)
Calmer in the way I respond to my outside environment.
Calmer when making decisions
Calmer in my relationships
What is your word?
Choose one. It works if your committed.
I raise my glass to simplicity in 2010,
Katie Kruz
Give the ultimate gift this season.The gift of Coaching.
This is the best deal of the year-grab it, make a difference today.
www.coachkatie.com
